1 post tagged “uncle john”

Heehee... yes, I like reading "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader"... it's full of strange facts and funny stories. This was my source of knowledge during our long break... think of it what you will. Anyway, I was reading last night and I came across this little "list"

1. If the doctor always says to take two aspirins, why don't we just double their size?
2. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "Quick"?
3. Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
4. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
5. Do bees get wax in their ears?
6. Why do mirrors reflect backwards, but not upside down?
7. If Wal-Mart keeps lowering its prices everyday, how come nothing in the store is free?
8. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
9. Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
10. How can traffic come to a standstill? Shouldn't it be a sitstill?
11. Why do you start slowing down immediately when the sign says "Speed Zone Ahead"?
12. How much faster would lightning travel if it didn't zigzag?
13. How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
14. Why do drugstores make sick people walk to the back to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
15. Why isn't "palindrome" spelled "palindromeemordnilap"?
16. How come you have to go to the "Start" menu to shut down your computer?
17. When the stars are out, you can see them; when the lights are out, you can't. Why?
18. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
19. Why is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to light a barbecue?
20. If swimming is such great exercise, how come wales are fat?
21. Why "milkshake"? shouldn't it be called a "milkshook"?
22. Why is it that most nudists are people you would never want to see naked?

And this isn't part of the list but it was at the bottom of the page... I thought I should just write it down

"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?" --Steven Wright